Sorry, criminal code of Canada: It's Pacer time, baby!

I've decided the Kia is out. Not because I don't think my vote's worth the magnificent Magentis or the spectacular Spectra, but because I learned to drive with my Dad's old Hyundai. Let's just say, I'm not in the mood for a repeat of the"Hyundai years" all over again (anyone else have an early-90s Hyundai that featured paint pealing randomly off the hood even though it was only two years old? My friend's father's Hyundai also featured this "unique" paint job LOL). I had lots of fantasical adventures in the Hyundai, including the time it stalled in the middle of a busy intersection on a hill while I was driving through a yellow light. Yes, those were really the days.

I'm now selling my vote for a 1975 AMC Pacer. Why? Well, the Pacer (1975-80) is ranked as one of the worst cars of all-time. Yes, it's even worse than the AMC Gremlin or the Chevette. Now, that's bad. Supposedly, the Pacer makes the Lada look like a Jag. No joke.

I figure that since this election is so fraught with irony (a multi-millionaire shipping tycoon whose business uses loopholes to pay literally no Canadian taxes and a right-wing tax and social program hating zealot who in the past has openly procclaimed his dislike of "second rate" Canada and it's "socialist" values, each claiming that they are the more patriotic Canadian) that I might as well join in.

If you're interested and you *hypothetically own a 1975 (or even a '76 or '77) AMC Pacer then meet me over at http://buymyvote.ca/ and we'll do business. The high bid on a '76 Pacer at eBay is currently C $1,569.78.

I think buying my vote for $1500 is more than worth it, but if you feel that price is a bit steep, for a limited time only, I'll also throw in a genuine American absentee ballot (I'm a dual citizen) for the 2004 US election.

I still haven't received mine yet (hmmmm...let's see, I registered on a Democratic Party-affiliated website who then contacted the proper office in Michigan – a potential swing state – interesting how I still haven't received my ballot yet...). Anyway, I expect it any day now. Once I get it, you can tell me who to vote for. I'll even send it in!

*Hypothetically speaking only of course – because selling your vote is a crime in Canada, and I take crime almost as seriously as I take the AMC Pacer, of which I will soon be the proud owner. Hopefully, not in that puke green colour that was so popular with crap-ass compacts of the '70s.