Take my Canadian election, please!
Just why am I undecided on who to vote for in Canadian Winter Election 2006 (aka Dr. Strangeliberal or: How To Stop Worrying And Love Canada's One Party System)? The first election I can recall is the one where good old Jean promised to "get rid of da GST, eh." Wonder why I'm so cynical about elections. Hmmmm.....
Well, you know how politicians come election time always trot out that worn-out old saying, "This election is really about choice"? Well, this one isn't. It's more about the same redundant choice that doesn't matter one bit. Seriously, like every election, who besides the Liberals stands a chance of winning any votes outside of Quebec or Alberta? And who can blame everyone outside of Quebec and Alberta for voting Liberal since the other parties are about as appealing as pealing paint.
To paraphrase Shakespeare, "There is something rotten in the 51st state of Canada"; and that something is the stench of every party pandering to so many interests you'd think our politicians have come down with a case of pre-election attention deficit disorder. See, it's bad enough that the Prime Minister recently came out with a mildly idiotic statement about creating a new anti-gun violence initiative that would make already-illegal handguns illegal, to which Harper countered with his plan to make "illegal government sponsorship scandals" illegal.
To make things even more moronic, the National Rifle Association (motto: Guns don't kill people, technically it's the bullets) is now actively campaigning for Harper, along with American arch-religious conservative and general political wacko Ralph Reed, director of the Christian Coalition.
But it only gets nauseatingly worse. How many times have the Liberals campaigned on their supposed "national daycare program" – a program that after countless election promises doesn't, as far as I know, seem to exist? I actually think I remember seeing a clip of Mackenzie King talking about it in a TV documentary.
And it's downright absurd how Stephen "All taxes are evil" Harper (just where does Harper think his MP's salary comes from exactly?) counters the Liberal national daycare proposal with the usual conservative drivel about how the "private sector" always does things better than government. Harper's so-called plan is to give parents the Scrooge-worthy measly sum of $1200 per year to pay for daycare. I did some investigating. Remember Stockwell Day? Well, his parents sent him to $1200 a year daycare. Enough said.
The reason I'll probably remain undecided is because none of the leaders seem to be speaking out on what's important to average Canadians. They're more concerned with getting elected, which ironically is supposed to involve pandering to what's important to average Canadians.
Frankly, Harper is so out of touch, it's scary. Even fellow tax-hatin' Albertan Ralph Klein won't throw his support behind the Conservative leader, a man whose wooden, almost automaton-like nature would normally make him a shoe-in – if he were running for president of the chess club.
Honestly, there really is something mildy hypnotic about Stephen Harper's hair and I am afraid that if I stare too long at it during the upcoming debates, I may go into a conservative-induced trance and vote for him without realizing it, so I am thinking of skipping the debates all together and watching something more interesting, like the static channel.
It's bad enough that this election seems to be about nothing concrete. Even worse, there is more electorate sucking up and flip-flopping than I've ever seen before. First, Jack Layton says he's against all private health care (well, I guess dentists have to go then; sorry kids, you'll have to go through high school with rotting teeth and overbites), then he does an astonishing about face and relents; now, Layton says he's really for it, but only in certain cases.
There's also Harper and Martin's tax cut proposals, which do not make one iota of sense. Oddly, Martin's tax cut seems geared toward the corporate elite and the upper class, while Harper's GST cut is actually much more progressive. But, wait! It gets better. Harper has many more tax cuts in mind. In fact, if he wins, he is considering abolishing taxes all-together and having the federal government just borrow money from Belinda Stronach's trust fund (Peter McKay assured him that she'll instantly switch back to the Conservatives once he crushes Martin and becomes Canada's Liberal slaying saviour).
Oh yes, and I really thought long and hard (ok, for about an hour while watching the Leafs) about voting for the Green Party. However, after investigating them a bit, I was left with the puzzling conclusion that they are not really a left wing environmental party at all; but instead an extreme right wing, pro-business and rich people, Republican style party that is obsessed with chopping important government social programs (or as they call them "waste"). Even more misleading, the "eco-conservative" Greens have an environmental platform made up of voluntary industry regulations akin to Bush's Orwellian "Clear Skies" initiative. Also, the Green Party is led by a former corporate lobbyist whose last name is "Harris". If that's not a bad omen, I don't know what is.....
Well, you know how politicians come election time always trot out that worn-out old saying, "This election is really about choice"? Well, this one isn't. It's more about the same redundant choice that doesn't matter one bit. Seriously, like every election, who besides the Liberals stands a chance of winning any votes outside of Quebec or Alberta? And who can blame everyone outside of Quebec and Alberta for voting Liberal since the other parties are about as appealing as pealing paint.
To paraphrase Shakespeare, "There is something rotten in the 51st state of Canada"; and that something is the stench of every party pandering to so many interests you'd think our politicians have come down with a case of pre-election attention deficit disorder. See, it's bad enough that the Prime Minister recently came out with a mildly idiotic statement about creating a new anti-gun violence initiative that would make already-illegal handguns illegal, to which Harper countered with his plan to make "illegal government sponsorship scandals" illegal.
To make things even more moronic, the National Rifle Association (motto: Guns don't kill people, technically it's the bullets) is now actively campaigning for Harper, along with American arch-religious conservative and general political wacko Ralph Reed, director of the Christian Coalition.
But it only gets nauseatingly worse. How many times have the Liberals campaigned on their supposed "national daycare program" – a program that after countless election promises doesn't, as far as I know, seem to exist? I actually think I remember seeing a clip of Mackenzie King talking about it in a TV documentary.
And it's downright absurd how Stephen "All taxes are evil" Harper (just where does Harper think his MP's salary comes from exactly?) counters the Liberal national daycare proposal with the usual conservative drivel about how the "private sector" always does things better than government. Harper's so-called plan is to give parents the Scrooge-worthy measly sum of $1200 per year to pay for daycare. I did some investigating. Remember Stockwell Day? Well, his parents sent him to $1200 a year daycare. Enough said.
The reason I'll probably remain undecided is because none of the leaders seem to be speaking out on what's important to average Canadians. They're more concerned with getting elected, which ironically is supposed to involve pandering to what's important to average Canadians.
Frankly, Harper is so out of touch, it's scary. Even fellow tax-hatin' Albertan Ralph Klein won't throw his support behind the Conservative leader, a man whose wooden, almost automaton-like nature would normally make him a shoe-in – if he were running for president of the chess club.
Honestly, there really is something mildy hypnotic about Stephen Harper's hair and I am afraid that if I stare too long at it during the upcoming debates, I may go into a conservative-induced trance and vote for him without realizing it, so I am thinking of skipping the debates all together and watching something more interesting, like the static channel.
It's bad enough that this election seems to be about nothing concrete. Even worse, there is more electorate sucking up and flip-flopping than I've ever seen before. First, Jack Layton says he's against all private health care (well, I guess dentists have to go then; sorry kids, you'll have to go through high school with rotting teeth and overbites), then he does an astonishing about face and relents; now, Layton says he's really for it, but only in certain cases.
There's also Harper and Martin's tax cut proposals, which do not make one iota of sense. Oddly, Martin's tax cut seems geared toward the corporate elite and the upper class, while Harper's GST cut is actually much more progressive. But, wait! It gets better. Harper has many more tax cuts in mind. In fact, if he wins, he is considering abolishing taxes all-together and having the federal government just borrow money from Belinda Stronach's trust fund (Peter McKay assured him that she'll instantly switch back to the Conservatives once he crushes Martin and becomes Canada's Liberal slaying saviour).
Oh yes, and I really thought long and hard (ok, for about an hour while watching the Leafs) about voting for the Green Party. However, after investigating them a bit, I was left with the puzzling conclusion that they are not really a left wing environmental party at all; but instead an extreme right wing, pro-business and rich people, Republican style party that is obsessed with chopping important government social programs (or as they call them "waste"). Even more misleading, the "eco-conservative" Greens have an environmental platform made up of voluntary industry regulations akin to Bush's Orwellian "Clear Skies" initiative. Also, the Green Party is led by a former corporate lobbyist whose last name is "Harris". If that's not a bad omen, I don't know what is.....
posted by Werben at 8:38 PM
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