Today a cabinet, tomorrow a neo-nation

So today I found out what a shoe tastes like.. Not that great, surprisingly.

Here's my picks for some of President Harper's top positions (others will follow in the coming days):

Finance Minister – Jim Flaherty (Hey, he was pretty good when he was Ontario's finance minister. Remember how while he was finance minister there was NO deficit, but as soon as McGuinty took over, suddently the government was up to their grits in deficit? Doesn't take a fool to realize that it was McGuinty's complete and utter incometence that caused an instant $6 billion deficit the moment he took over. Harper will surely need Flaherty's financial talents to make sure his own government does not face a similar deficit until the next government takes over. Also, Flaherty once infamously quipped that homeless people should be locked up in a jail. Nice guy, huh? Just the type of personality Harper will be looking for when he starts slashing all those "wasteful" social programs that will lead to even more "homeless lazy bums".)

Ambassador to US – Preston Manning (Come on, this one's perfect. Can't you just see Preston and Bush at Bush's ranch, wearing cowboy hats and talkin' oil. I can. Although with his high squeaky voice and glasses, Preston would undoubtably be given some really embarrasing nickname by former frat-boy Bush, something like Squeaky or Geekface. That might not be so good for US-Canadian relations.)

Human Resources Minister – Peter McKay(Giving McKay Belinda's old portfolio would be kinda fitting, in an ironic way I guess. Although, since I blame McKay for destroying the old centrist PC Party in order to create the current unholy alliance with the Reformers, I'd rather see him as Canada's next Ambassador to Bouvet Island.)

UN Ambassador – The choice is quite obvious, isn't it? While I don't think there's any dress code inside the UN chambers, I'm thinking he'll have to leave the wetsuit at home if he wants to be taken seriously. Yes, Stockwell Day, the current CPC Foreign Affairs critic, would be perfect as Harper's new messenger boy to the United Nations. Along with American neo-con Bush attack dog and all around insano John Bolton (who would fast become Day's best friend in the UN, probably his only friend actually), Stock would bring Canada's much tarnished reputation up a few notches with his uncanny conservative wisdom – they can never get enough of that in the Security Council meetings I hear – and sparkling row of pearly whites. And he looks cool in a wetsuit playing watersports. That's sure to impress the ambassador to Chile or Germany, isn't it?

And that leaves, Tony Clement. Yes, Tony Clement. He wanted in so badly that this time, he ended up running in a riding in the middle of nowhere consisting of 21 people who were all related. Coincidentally, he only won his riding by a mere 21 votes. Does that mean he didn't vote for himself? Or maybe he forgot to vote? Let's just give old Tony the benefit of the doubt on this one and say it was the Jones family's dog that voted for the other candidate.

Clement has been mentioned as a candidate for Health Minister, but I'm not so sure. Since Harper will be attempting to dismantle public health care (even with a minority gov. I think he'll still try it), I'm no so sure this portfolio would be able to really make use of Clement's talents for health related issues (I mean, he was such a great minister of health under Mike Harris where he single handedly saved Ontario's health care system and made it into the great marvel that it is today. Did you hear that now only 2 out of 5 patients die while waiting for knee replacements? Before Tony took over, the figure was 4 out of 5 with the fifth usually dying during the procedure.

Where will Clement fit into Harper's plans then, if not Health? What about Environment? I think he'd be perfect. In fact, any former Harris crony would be perfect to replace Stéphane Dion as Minister of the Environment. Just think of all the great Common Sense Revolution ideas about environmental protection a former Harrisite would bring to the talble.

Why there's the myth of water purification, or the fact that pollution is healthy for you. What about the evidence that shows trees are the number one cause of smog? Tony would be just perfect!